Nigerian Wedding

I had the pleasure of attending my very first wedding in Nigeria. Now, I would consider myself to be very privileged to be honest, because during the course of my first week in Nigeria, I mentioned to my colleagues in the office that I would like to experience a wedding in Nigeria. Two weeks later the invitation arrived, so you can just imagine my excitement. On receiving the invitation I was informed that the couple was married traditionally, however we were invited to the church ceremony, to be followed by a reception. Apparently it is the practice of some Nigerians to have two ceremonies - a traditional and church ceremony.

The church ceremony was held at the Holy Trinity Catholic Church and commenced promptly at 10 am. So we arrive at the church and were greeted by an array of persons, pedalling their trade on the outside of the church premises. There were vendors selling refreshments, newspapers, fresh fruit, cameramen taking photographs, persons offering corsage's and wedding programmes and all of these services are being offered at a price. Allow me to shed some light, or rather explain. The average Nigerian is very enterprising, because life in Nigeria is a hustle. So from early in the morning you will see persons on the city streets, hustling their trade, what ever that trade might be, ranging from tailoring, shoe repair and shine, small traders selling a variety of items, fruit vendors. You name it and I can assure you that you can go out on the street corner and someone will pass by offering that item or service for sale. Back to the wedding....

So we anxiously pass the mass of vendors on the outside and make our way to the church door, making a brief stop to collect a wedding programme. As I begun to mount the steps of the church however, I pause for a moment to view the cover of the programme in my hand, which brings me to an instant stop. On the cover of the nicely done programme was the picture of a couple I did not recognise. Now I am in Nigeria no more that eight weeks and I met the bride-to-be only on one occasion, however I was certain that the person I was looking down at was not the person I was introduced to and whom had invited me to share in her joyous day of marriage. Who the hell is this?

Right under the photo were the names Joy and Felix....... So I call out to the two persons that were with me, "stop, we need to call the driver, because we are at the wrong church." The response from them was "are you certain?" My response, "the wedding we are suppose to be attending is that of Meg and Dave, however this programme says Joy and Felix." The three of us are now standing on the church steps with the greatest look of confusion, because according to the invitation in my hand, the wedding was to be held at the Holy Trinity Catholic Church and according to the programme, which I was also holding in my hand, the wedding of Joy and Felix was also at the Holy Trinity Catholic Church and they were both scheduled for 10am. This was certainly a first for me.

I stood at the entrance of the church literally peeking, trying to locate my other colleagues from the office. Because of limited space in the vehicle, a few of them had gone ahead, so they should have been seated already. However, one glance in the church and I was reminded that I was in Africa, because all I can see was an assortment of large head wraps in various forms, sizes and colour, so trying to identify someone in that crowd was almost impossible. I stood there wondering 'are we at the right location, what's really going on here'. On a second glance into the church however, I observed that the front pew was filled of women wearing white veils and I wondered to myself 'is it normal for the bridesmaids to be all dressed in white, veil and all?' What's going on here? The three of us were totally confused. Against our better judgement a colleague of mine called one of the persons who arrived ahead of us to enquire where they were and if it was indeed the right church. That person responded in the affirmative and encouraged us to enter the church as the service had already begun. So we did. Although still very much confused.

We entered the church and took our seats and got right into the service. The priest was already doing the sermon and giving the couples (please note the use of the plural word) some words of advise. I start right away to pay attention to my surroundings and the proceedings, because I really wanted some clarification as to why I was invited to Meg and Dave's wedding and the programme in my hand said Joy and Felix. Right after the sermon the priest invited the couples to join him on the altar to say their vows and at that point things became much clearer. Five brides, accompanied by five grooms made there way to the altar. Now that will explain the front row filled of women dressed in white, topped with white veils on their heads. I am beginning to understand. This was a multiple wedding ceremony, definitely a first for me.

The five couples all lined up on the altar and the mother and father-givers were invited to join them. The priest then began the recital of the vows with the first couple, which so happened to be the couple that invited me to the event, Meg and Dave. So one by one the priest went down the aisles, as the couples recited their vows. Right in the middle of the vows of the fourth couple there was an outburst at the entrance of the church.... Oh my, what can this be????? In comes couple number six one hour into the ceremony.

Did I mention that on the invitation I received it boldly stated 10am promptly.... You might have gathered that I was not as prompt as the invitation suggested, however, I was not getting married along with five other persons. Apparently, no one saw it fit to point out the time to bride number six and her enter bridal party. So at 11am the service was interrupted by the rushing bride, accompanied by her groom, mother-giver, father-giver, bridesmaids, groomsmen, junior bride, relatives, friends and well wishers. It was almost as though they came on a bus. They all just came running down the aisles, heading straight to the foot of the altar. Now now, what can be done about this? And hour into the service and bride number six has just arrived? So you can imagine the confusion and the outburst of murmuring in the church. Plus poor bride number four, probably wondering who/what the hell interrupted her vows in front of all these people. The priest stood there in amazement. After taking a couple of seconds to assess the situation he directed them to side of the altar until he completed the recital of the vows with couple number four. Then he moved on the awaiting couple, number five. On completion, he looked up, almost puzzled and confused as to what was the appropriate action to be taken. After a brief consultation with the persons on the alter he signalled to the couple to join him on the altar and proceeded to give them a good scolding, followed by their vows.

The ceremony took the full format of a mass, including offertory and communion and the church had an extremely vibrant choir, which lifted the mood and gave the atmosphere of a celebration. Right after the communion the priest requested the couples to quickly assembly for the signing of the marriage register. At this point, all of the couple, followed by their entire bridal party, moved swiftly down the aisle and assembled at the door of the church. And one by one the couples and their entourage, danced down the aisles in a procession to the choir singing songs of praise and thanksgiving. There was signing and dancing and chanting throughout the church. It was truly a moment of celebration, as they made their way to sign the marriage register and receive their final blessings.

So the ceremony was over and thoroughly enjoyed by all. Now we make our way to the reception. We arrive at the hall and were ushered to our table and await the arrival of the newly weds. On their arrival, they were greeted by the bridal party, who were all outfitted in the same fabric and once again they danced their way down the aisles. Now, I have observed that it is the practice during times of celebration for an entire family (and I am not referring to four or five persons, more like twenty-five, thirty persons, man, woman and child) to be all outfitted in the same fabric. There will be various styles and versions of outfits and head wraps to match, however it will all be made from the same fabric. In similar fashion, both the bride and groom's parents will be outfitted in the same fabric.

The reception took on the format of any regular wedding reception, but what stood out was that when the couple was invited to take their first dance, the guests was invited to spray them. This spraying, which is something I am considering to introduce at my wedding, was not with perfume or anything of liquid form, neither was it done with rice, which is often done in countries like the one I am from. Instead the couple was sprayed with money. Yes, MONEY........ Lots and lots of MONEY.... I was surprised and very, very pleased..... And the more they danced, the more money was thrown their way. Now I have always found weddings to be quite an expense. This expense may sometimes be met by the parents, however most times, particularly in recent times, the couples are the ones bearing the expense. So wouldn't it be nice to be sprayed with some cash to assist with covering your first month's bills. Wouldn't it?????

I must say the wedding was enjoyed by all. I was truly thankful for being invited to share in their special day. I would like to wish Meg and Dave, and Joy and Felix, and all of the other couples all the best in their future together and may they have a happy and fruitful marriage.