Before leaving headquarters to take up our new adventures at post, we under went a series of training programmes, ranging from dealing with transitions, to immigration and accounting procedure's. However, at no point were we trained in combat techniques, the art of haggling, or preparing ones digestive system to deal with the new cuisine. I can vividly remember persons LAUGHING at my request for weapons training, as everyone for some reason down-played the seriousness of the environment in which we were about to enter. However, in the three months that we have been at post, already two of my colleagues at different missions, have had to develop evacuation plans in the event of civil unrest and things becoming to RISKY. Can anyone tell me why???? No where in the job specs or application process they made mention of the requirement for persons to have excellent skills in evacuation techniques at short notice. My advise though to anyone that might find themselves in such a situation, is to pack light and always ensure that your passport is at hand. This is no time for make-up, memorabilia, sexy shoes or cute outfits. Because your life might be dependent upon it.
Another issue of great concern is the matter of health care. This is one issue that my girl in Havana does not have to contend with, however for the rest of, particular the ones across the Atlantic, there is a grey cloud of uncertainty as to the health situation and what pertains when the need arise. Because some of us now find ourselves operating in an environment containing diseases and outbreaks, whose spread has either been significantly reduced or has been eradicated from our side of the Atlantic many many moons ago. Yes we were all immunized with a truck load of vaccinations before our departure and some of us started taking weekly treatments for malaria. However, I was later advised that the malaria treatment was just that, only a TREATMENT and was really not a preventative drug. So the possibility of contracting the dreaded disease was quite high, even on the medication. Added to which the long-term side effects of being on the treatment for an extended period of time was even worst than contracting the dread disease... So clearly there was no winning in this situation, its either we contract malaria and hope for the best, or we expose ourselves to longtime kidney or liver failure. WHOOPEE!!!!!!!!! Actually just a few days ago my mother and I were advised to allow the mosquitoes to bite us, so we can build up our resistance. I looked at the Dr. as though she was from Mars, because she certainly was not speaking my language. My advise for the fight against malaria, tonnes of Off, citronella and any other form of insect repellent you can put your hands on, in addition to which, your accommodation must have screened windows and tonnes of bug spray, just in the event that one of those disease spreading little critters manage to make their way inside. Mosquitoes do not stand a chance in my apartment.
The concept of haggling was also a new phenomenon that some of us have to contend with. For those of you that have never come across the word, thank your lucky stars. To haggle, as so eloquently described in the Nelson's Contemporary English Dictionary means to bargain or argue especially over prices or terms. I could not have said it better. Let me describe, you enter the market and beginning to browse, on seeing something that you would like to purchase, you enquire the price. Now you have to enquire, because somehow the concept of price tags did not make it across the Atlantic. The vendor on realising that you are not a native or regular customer, calculates the most ridiculous price in his or her head and boldly proclaims. Now this is where the haggling begins.... On hearing the proclamation you do not flinch, act surprised or attempt to display money, you simply say "are you out of your mind" and call a price just below what you are willing to pay. The vendor shakes his or her head and maintains the price first proclaimed. You, as serious as a heart attack does the same, maintaining your offer..... By then the vendor begins to realise that you have been on the local scene for a while, so the third offer will be slightly reduced. You on the other hand are maintaining your first offer without cracking grin, because this is some serious negotiations. At this point you are guaranteed to hear a sad story, about the devaluation of the local currency, how difficult it is to survive, the high quality of the product, or some other pack of tripe. Whatever you do, never give in and maintain a serious disposition. At this point, you can add a few dollars onto your offer price and if they persist with their offer price, simply walk away. You will be amazed of the effect that act of walking has on the haggling process, because some how the vendor automatically comes to their senses and chase after you with product in hand. Only then will you become aware of the true price, as the vendor in the sweetest tone, begin a different type of negotiation with you to get the good off of his or her hand. That's when you offer your final price and on most occasions its accepted, so you seal the deal. My advise to anyone attempting to haggle for the first time, always be equipped with a calculator, know the conversion rate between the two currencies and have an established amount that you are willing to spend on the item, otherwise you are guaranteed to be robbed.
They always say that what don't break you, will certainly make you stronger and we can attest to that. The world is our battle field and I will assure that these soldiers are ready for combat, so believe me when I say we will come out victorious.
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